By Charles Platt

The UQ Union election season is well underway, with a busload of AEC scrutineers arriving at UQ’s Great Court this morning. The scrutineers (who should be preparing for several key byelections), expressed dismay at the prospect that they are required for something as inconsequential as a student union election.

“This is a fucking joke, it’s a student guild, not the US senate. Do these kids realize that these positions mean nothing?” Said one.

“Wait, are they… campaigning? Like it’s a real election?” asked another.

It is understood that the AEC has also agreed to monitor the UQ Law Society elections after concerns of institutional bias were raised. These fears were sparked yesterday, when UQLS affiliated newspaper, The Obiter, published an article which appeared to come out in favour of a particular candidate. A second article has since been posted related to the second presidential candidate, however it likens her to a barbed wire wielding tyrant, so not exactly a glowing review.

There are also unconfirmed reports that a small detachment of UN peacekeepers are en route to St. Lucia following alarming stories of post-election scuffles after last year’s Union ballot. Thousands of punches were thrown by limp-wristed stupol hacks, no injuries were reported.