By Jaike Salmon

A 24 year old marketing manager, Cooper Miningmagnate-Foradad, has recently made sure to end his long standing subscription for little Australian flags you stick on yourself just in time to avoid public backlash on social media.

Young Cooper has recently discovered, via his girlfriend Tiffany, that his beloved January 26 isn’t all its cracked up to be. With rallies and protests around the country marking public outcry to Change The Date due to the past and present struggles of First Nations people that the date represents, a tone deaf Cooper is confused why omitting flag memorabilia from his January 26 attire isn’t earning him applause.

Mr Miningmagnate-Foradad had this to say: “You know, my influencer girlfriend keeps posting about Australia Day and stuff, and I think we’re pretty ‘woke’ about the whole thing.” Cooper, who’s likely never used the word woke before, is unaware that the date represents the beginning of British colonial invasion and the Frontier Wars.

“I’ll level with you, I’m happy to leave the temp tattoos at home, but surely that’s enough. I can still wear my Australian Flag bucket hat to Jonno’s, right?” Cooper asked his girlfriend Tiffany on the phone while we broke from our interview.

When we probed him about what he meant by this, we discovered that Coops failed to disclose to us he was co-organising a non-descript BBQ/pool party this arvo at his mate Johno McSmyth’s parents’ sprawling Bulimba property. “F*ck, Tiff said it was alright because we we didn’t name the Fb event Aus Day, but that I shouldn’t tell anyone. None of her followers are gonna read this, right?” Cooper questioned, worried about his party and copping it from Tiff.

Since our interview this morning, it’s become evident that both Cooper’s and Tiff’s social media profiles have been wiped up until Jan 27 2021.

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Please find below some resources to help educate yourself about January 26, and why it is a day of mourning, and First Nations organisations and campaigns you can support:

Resources:

https://www.commonground.org.au/learn/australia-day

https://antar.org.au/campaigns/survival-day-and-a-new-national-holiday

https://www.sbs.com.au/nitv/article/2022/01/26/opinion-so-you-want-celebrate-26-january-ive-got-few-questions-you1

https://www.sbs.com.au/nitv/article/2022/01/13/opinion-why-january-26-should-not-be-day-celebration

Organisations and campaigns:

https://www.timeout.com/melbourne/things-to-do/indigenous-organisations-and-social-justice-campaigns-you-can-support

https://antar.org.au/

https://paytherent.net.au/

https://sistersinside.com.au/

https://healingfoundation.org.au/

http://www.blackrainbow.org.au/