By Courtney Howarth

A first year law student has reached an important milestone today and is contemplating quitting her degree after her carefully selected first day outfit fails to yield the compliments she’d envisaged.

Unlike her peers in later years who succumb to their imposter syndrome or the thought of repeating Equity and Trusts, Ella-Grace Campbell (17) has started reevaluating her life choices today as she sat through her entire LLB101 Introduction to Law tutorial with nary a glance at her thrifted Doc Martens or Cotton On charity tote bag, let alone a compliment.

“I wanted to channel Elle Woods, y’know, from Legally Blonde, but obviously something more modern… Have you seen Legally Blonde? I’ve seen it like 50 times; it’s like, my favourite old movie!” Ignoring the pained expression on this almost-30 year old reporter’s face, Ms Campbell groaned, “I spent so long picking out this outfit last night!” 

Zoning out during her tutor’s explanation of the Separation of Powers and the ‘Washminster system’, Ms Campbell’s excitement dissipated as she could only think about where she had gone wrong, especially following several years of what she described as ‘amazing’ free dress day outfits.

“I don’t know where I went wrong, hey. I got compliments at EVERY one of St HallowVille’s uniform-free days and I was so excited to make a good impression after twelve years of uniforms – I sent SO many fit-checks to my friends for approval!” Ms Campbell said, visibly upset.

Ms Campbell sighs as she slumps in her chair, motivation for the next four years apparently leaving her body, and opens up her Macbook Pro to her LLB101 OneNote page.

“I worked so hard for my ATAR, and for what? Seemingly nothing. Elle Woods was fashionable AND smart, so what’s even the point. All I wrote down in today’s tutorial is ‘Governor General’,” she says, gesturing harshly at her screen, “What the hell is a ‘Governor General’?! Eugh, I’m obviously not lawyer material!”

This reporter can do nothing but sympathise with our newest addition to the law cohort, and hope that maybe she’ll catch the major theme of resilience on her 51st viewing of Legally Blonde.