By Jaike Salmon and Christian Coulthard

Four sideburn-clad men with 17” Razor ‘Laptops’ have laid themselves bare to a ribbing on StalkerSpace after blowing their expedition to the Law Library today.

John (18), John (19), John (20), and Stephen (19) thought they would go unnoticed when they made a Thursday trip to the viciously protected C Block Level 5 during the usual 10-11am lull period.

These thoughts obviously were why they aren’t destined to be vested with the brains trusts of suburban boutique family law firms, like the usual Law Library goers. However, they tried their luck anyway and began writing unintelligible crap on one of the whiteboards as they ‘studied’.

The group went largely unscathed, due to the propensity for LLB tragics to be innumerate, but came unstuck as they began to leave and one of the Johns said: “Great work legends, I didn’t understand how MATLAB worked before this!” Another John replied: “Yeah, and thanks, John, for the Wolfram Alpha login!”

Several confused looks shot around the room as the Johns became uneasy. Unfortunately for them, the outlier of the group, Stephen, had not noticed this because EQ is not something he is well versed in. Stephen then made a fatal error, just as the group were switching off their mechanical keyboards and blurted out: “I can’t wait till the prac next week! I love building bridges with paddle pop sticks!”

Fortunately for, the group, only the librarians were called to escort them from the premises, after one Law Student recited the Library Bylaws that no one knew existed.

The item that specifically resulted in their ejection detailed no black leather New Balances could be paired with cargo shorts in the Law Library.

An anonymous post saying: “If you’re not studying law stop using our library you poorly dressed plebs!!” is imminent.