Charles Platt

A man who clearly has no time for this has made an absolute fool of himself today, after doing everything in his power to slow down a busy lunch service.

Harvey MacAllister-Marvin-Macelroy (21) had already earned the ire of just about everyone else in the Gardens Point food court with his melodramatic display of huffing, puffing, and tapping his feet while waiting to order his 1500 calorie lunch.

This display of absolute entitlement could have been made at least somewhat justifiable by the fact that assessment is around the corner and stress levels are running high, but what he did next was truly unforgivable. In the clearest display of being a “busy adult with many important things to do” yet, he loudly announced his entire order in the space of about two seconds.

“YeahamatecouldIjustgetalargelambwithcheeseandhotchillisaucewithgarlisohandyeahasmallchipstooandacanofmonsternahnotthatonethewhiteoneyeahtapheregoodstuffhowlong?”

The very patient Origin Kebabs employee blinked, and then blinked again.

“I’m sorry sir?”

“LARGE LAMB WHITE MONSTER”

Not only would Harvey have placed his order much quicker if he’d used his words like an adult, he also wouldn’t have looked like such a wanker doing it.

No more to come.