Charles Platt – Editor at Large

The pre-semester quiet on campus has been unsettled today, as international observers and other student societies look towards QUTLS’ mobilization of manpower with concern.

Announcing a casual vacancy for 2 general staff lieutenants; this recruiting drive will allow the Law Society’s generals to focus on the more vital aspects of modern war planning such as territorial expansion, occupation of strategic points, psychological operations (PSYOPS), and cyber warfare.

Sorry, did I just say lieutenants to enable territorial expansion, occupation of strategic points, PSYOPS, and cyber warfare? Silly me, I meant to say 2 administrative officers to help out with room bookings, securing a good spot at Welcome Week, answering general queries, and making sure all of our login details on every piece of software don’t reset at exactly the same time.

What a weird slip of the tongue.

This opportunity would be a great starting point for any budding military officer looking to seize control and run the university as their own personal junta one day, and by that, I mean It’s a great opportunity for a keen and committed law student to get involved in the largest paramilitary I mean student society on campus.

In unrelated news, rumors that the recently ratified QUTLS budget contains a slush fund dedicated to the procurement of Bushmaster Protected Mobility Vehicles continue to swirl. I wouldn’t know about such a fund, because I fell asleep during that part of the executive meeting.