Charles Platt – Editor At Large

A small but exceptionally annoying cohort of students have let out agonised sigh that only comes around during exam time, as everyone else enjoys the final fleeting weeks of their summer break.

Sydney (20) is one such student, who instead of taking some well-earned time off of her studies instead decided to knuckle down and power through Civil Procedure in the sweltering and glorious Queensland summer, a time of year that is rightfully spent by the seaside or poolside, and absolutely not hunched over a laptop.

“Yeah I just wanted to get ahead y’know” she said, with absolutely nothing behind her eyes. “I’d heard that it was pretty content heavy so doing it in isolation without other units to take up my time just made sense”.

While her friends do exactly what debauched twenty-somethings are supposed to do over the summer break, Sydney instead spends her spare hours wistfully looking out the window, like an 18th century housewife confined to her quarters.

When interviewed, her friends were less than charitable; “I’m pretty sure this is just an ego thing” said one, on the condition of anonymity. “Yeah, can’t say I feel sorry for her, she’s been smug about the ‘hustle’ and ‘grind’ all summer and now that it’s her fake exam block she expects us to pity her. Anyway I’ve got to go, it’s my turn to do a beer bong”.

Our reporter politely declined a beer bong.