Charles Platt – Editor at Large

As the university semester begins in earnest, all manner of new year’s resolutions are being discarded in favor of the small, fleeting comforts that make life worth living.

Chief among these fleeting comfort among the Australian youth is Nicotine.

A scourge that was almost completely vanquished through aggressive tobacco taxes and intensive state education campaigns, the calming, highly addictive nectar of the Gods has been reintroduced suddenly and forcefully by the practice of vaping, in which instead of sucking on a Cancer-causing stick of tobacco, young people the world over are instead sucking on a battery that promises a steady flow of the habit-forming stimulant.

Critics of vaping argue that the ease of access and ability to use almost constantly without bearing the shame of having to go outside to feed your shameful habit make the cycle of addiction even more insidious than those of cigarettes.

But if they think that’s bad, just you wait to see what big tobacco is cooking up now.

Nicotine pouches (commonly known by their brand name Zyn) have exploded in popularity in the United States and Europe over the last year, and the next logical market is here.

Placed between the top lip and gum, the pouches offer a constant, slow release of nicotine at the cost of literally burning a hole in your mouth.

A Slow, constant, unceasing release of nicotine, without any of the shame of going out for a cigarette or blowing blueberry ice flavored glycol into your friend’s face.

Anyone who’s suddenly craved a Winfield Red after exactly half a schooner can see why this is a terrible idea.

While possibly illegal under s126 of the new Public Health (Tobacco and Other Products) Act 2023 (Cth), whether it is considered “snuff tobacco” is up in the air, and even if it is, it’s not like they’re going to actually stop this shit coming in now is it?