Charles Platt – Editor at Large

So you’ve just inhaled that first freezing cold pint of lager on a warm Friday afternoon. You’re excited, you’re relieved. But something is missing.

Nicotine

Unfortunately, you’ve been advised by two doctors and all three levels of government that vaping is really bad for you, as if you needed to be told that sucking on a battery may not be the wisest move.

Besides, have you seen that video of the factory worker “testing” literally every vape that comes off a production line? That’s just gross and I want his job.

But did you know that there’s a traditional, plant-based solution to nicotine that has been practiced for thousands of years and only recently fallen out of favour?

Grown in central America since at least 1400BCE, the Tobacco leaf (the origin of this word probably drawn from the Arawakan language of the Caribbean) has the same stimulating effects of a blueberry ice, but without* the associated health risks! Better yet, processed and rolled packets are readily available at the same tobacconists that recently stopped** selling vapes!

So give this incredible new way of getting stimulants into your blood a go, and with every drag feel connected to the rituals and wisdom of the ancients.

*lol no

** no they didn’t