SURELY THERE’S A BETTER WAY: A law student in District 12 (a small suburban law firm) has had exciting news today with an invitation to journey to the Capitol (Eagle Street) and partake in one of the most brutal and morbid competitions in the history of humanity, clerkship interview rounds.

Commonly consisting of firm cocktail evenings, psychometric testing, video interviews, and in person interviews, the process is a social and professional minefield in which only the savviest (or luckiest) survive.

Our correspondent spoke with student Katniss Everstudying this afternoon outside her usual place of employment, Jim’s Legal Services Jimboomba.

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting to get an interview in person, but I guess I did well in the bubble popping maths exercise” said Katniss referring to one of the many psychometric tests Unnamed Big Law Firm Pty Ltd subjected her to.

“I guess now I can go to the cocktail evening and be shocked by how nice the food and champagne is like Peeta was in Hunger Games Catching Fire”.

 “And look, don’t get me wrong, UBL Firm has a great reputation, I just don’t know if I’ll be able to compete with all the other desperate Type-A’s ya know?”

Our reporter didn’t have much to add having dropped their law degree to explore their true passion – a Bachelor of Comedy (Honours).

Regardless, in the view of this publication you have a better chance with your hat in the ring than without so get that cover letter, resume and unofficial academic transcript and get applying! Applications close this coming Friday 8 August at 5pm. And, as always, may the odds be ever in your favour.

MORE TO COME