By Alexander Curtis

Preparations are in full swing this week for the annual Met Gala, but with the cost of a ticket totalling close to a law graduate’s HECS debt, it’s no wonder fashion icons across the globe have turned their eyes to Brisbane for a more ‘real world’ event: the QUTLS Law Ball.

Insiders are reporting that comparison between the two functions has left Hollywood “absolutely fucked”, confirming that two can play the game of obscure themes and insanely fast ticket sales.

Celebs on the Gala’s organisational committee include the likes of Sabrina Carpenter, Venus Williams and apparently Amazon’s Jeff Bezos (yes, I did my research for this article). Yet absolutely none of them have anything on the hotties on the QUTLS committee, and especially not the hundreds of attendees that will again be wearing the only suit they own.

Eager to learn more, our correspondents confronted some of the future attendees.

“I don’t wanna overdo it, the dress code still says formal.” said second-year Valley rat Dill Enwrong. “The theme should complement the outfit, not define it. That’s why I’m just gonna reuse the same suit I wore to Junior Moot. Year 11 semi-formal. Nan’s funeral. It’s called adaptability, and that’s the kind of buzzword you put on clerkship applications.”

Another guy, Tuck C. Dough, was asked about his suit’s evident lack of dry cleaning, despite it being stained by three law ball’s worth of drinks.

“Mate this isn’t some peasant Tarocash okay? I’m gift wrapped in Peter Jackson.” the 22-year-old said. “Drycleaning is for moot club wankers, and even if it wasn’t, I’m pretty sure alcohol is a disinfectant.”

Many are pointing out the Gala’s dress code of “fashion is art”, which is incredibly confusing and reminiscent of last year’s scenes of law students sloshed out over fallen tables.

The Law Ball’s theme however is brimming with potential for those who should have been taking a fashion degree at Kelvin Grove. Dubbed “Under the Full Moon,” this weekend is expected to showcase bold interpretations of the lunar cycle, which students have been able to experience plenty of during all-nighters through the recent assessment period.

Stay tuned and we might even post a meme! More (drinking) to come.

Did you hate this article? Are you an incredibly offended fan of the Metropolitan Museum of Art? Think you could do a better job? Send your article submissions to gsj.officer@qutlawsociety.com!